Sunday, November 12, 2006

AN OPEN LETTER TO JOHN BARR, PRESIDENT OF THE POETRY FOUNDATION

Dear Mr. Barr, first the Democrats take back control, then Rumsfeld steps down, and then, AND THEN, you finally admit to being bored with the company you keep in the latest issue of POETRY Magazine.

OH you POOR, POOR MAN, all this time I thought you were enjoying the drone of your peers, and here you've been HOPING someone would show you the fucking doorway to the true joys you were CERTAIN poetry can offer! Well Mr. Barr my dear, LOOK NO FURTHER!

Here is my email address in case calling me at home seems TOO BIG A STEP for you to take right away:
CAConrad13@aol.com

On the other hand, here's my phone number, JUST IN CASE you get a feverish itch in your drawers to get started SOONER! 215 563 3075. Hm, don't mind calling, ANY TIME AT ALL!

How many sleepless nights have you spent not understanding why poetry was so boring? You wanted so much more, I hear that, I FEEL THAT in your article in POETRY Magazine. But it's here Mr. Barr, it's here, it's here. TRUST ME telling you it's here. Let me hold your hand while you read Alice Notley for the first time, or Carol Mirakove, Eileen Myles, Will Esposito, Frank Sherlock, Caroline Bergvall, Brett Evans, Stacy Szymaszek, OH MY GOODNESS MR. BARR SO MANY OTHER ELECTRICAL SHOCKS AWAIT YOU AND I WANT TO BE THERE TO SHARE THOSE MOMENTS OF AWAKENING! Oh my GOODNESS! WOW! Will we ever be able to catch our breath again? And after this I promise you will sleep like a baby LION every night for the rest of your roaring life!

Mr. Barr my dear, JUST THINK, you won't have to drink too much scotch after readings anymore to drown your sorrows, NO-NO! Now you can drink too much scotch after readings to CELEBRATE the arrival of the missing doorway, OH! Don't be so hard on yourself Mr. Barr, it's okay you missed the door, opened the wrong one.

All can be redeemed. All can be as blissful as you once imagined and hoped. Come with me. Come with me dear Mr. Barr, let me show you, let me help you undress in the warmth of genius poetry has to offer.

And then, when you realize all this, please DO make places for my friends in the spacious halls of your Poetry Society, Poetry Foundation, all that STUFF! We won't bite, well, yes we might actually bite, but you'll Love it so! We'll have THE REAL PARTIES you've been waiting to have for poetry! Oh YES!

One VERY BIG Love bite waiting for you,
CAConrad
click here for
DEVIANT you DEVIANT me

3 Comments:

At 7:52 PM, Blogger Curtis Faville said...

Don't bother with Poetry Magazine, Craig, they're not worth the effort.

"People without their own scene,
lean."

--Robt Creeley

You're got your own scene already.

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Nicholas Manning said...

Well, even though I generally try to avoid reading anything in "Poetry", the Barr stuff irritated me (I blogged about it too: www.thenewermetaphyiscals.blogspot.com). Man, some of the things he says, it's like a send-up . . . Maybe we shouldn't bother, but this used to be the great magazine of its time. Thus the tragedy.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger CLAY BANES said...

THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN. Barr—Barr isn't irritating, he's just hurting, understandably.

 

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